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All posts by: Natalie Luke

Natalie Grimes Advice for Managing Self Critic
Limiting Beliefs Natalie Luke

Taming Your Inner Critic: Expert Advice from Therapist Natalie Grimes

Do you ever find yourself spiraling into self-doubt, with a little voice in your head saying, “You’re not good enough,” or “You’ll fail”? That voice is your inner critic, and while it’s a common experience, it can hold you back from reaching your potential if left unchecked.

In this episode of UnCeiling You, therapist Natalie Grimes joins me to explore the origins of the inner critic and, more importantly, how to manage it. Whether it’s affecting your confidence at work, on the tennis court, or in your daily life, Grimes’s practical strategies can help you turn self-doubt into self-empowerment.

What Is the Inner Critic?

The inner critic is the voice inside your head that magnifies your insecurities and doubts. Grimes explains that this voice often starts in childhood as a survival mechanism to protect us from perceived failures or dangers. However, it can become overly critical as adults, holding us back rather than helping us.

One powerful takeaway from this episode is the idea of naming your inner critic. For me, that voice is called Natasha. Grimes shares why naming the inner critic is a great idea.

“When we learn to label and distinguish ourselves from our negative thoughts, we gain control over them and stop identifying with them.”

Why Naming Your Inner Critic Works

Naming your inner critic is a small but powerful step toward separating negative thoughts from your identity. By doing this, you can observe those thoughts objectively and decide how to respond.

For example, during a tennis match, Natasha—the name I gave my inner critic—told me, “Don’t miss this serve.” Instead of letting her overwhelm me, I acknowledged her presence and decided to shift my focus. I imagined how my future self—Natalie 2.0—would feel and act in that moment, channeling confidence and focus to win the game. This slight mindset shift made all the difference.

How to Quiet the Inner Critic

If your inner critic often takes over, Grimes offers actionable strategies to regain control:

  1. Label and Separate the Critic from Yourself
    • Acknowledge the critic’s voice without letting it define you.
    • Grimes emphasizes, “Your inner critic is not your identity. It’s a voice, and you have the power to turn down its volume.”
  2. Practice Mindfulness
    • Mindfulness helps you observe your thoughts without judgment. Ask yourself:
      • What emotions am I feeling right now?
      • How is my body reacting?
    • By slowing down and identifying these patterns, you can respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
  3. Challenge Negative Thought Patterns
    • Grimes explains common thought distortions like:
      • Catastrophizing: Jumping to the worst-case scenario.
      • “Should” Statements: Unrealistic expectations like, “I should be perfect.”
    • Counter these thoughts with reframes such as, “I’m learning,” or “I don’t have to be perfect to make progress.”
  4. Visualize Your Future Self
    • Imagine the best version of yourself—your own 2.0—and focus on how that person would act, think, and feel.

The Inner Critic at Work

The inner critic doesn’t just show up during personal challenges—it’s often loudest in professional settings. I shared a story with Grimes about receiving a compliment from a senior leader at work. While the compliment was positive, my inner critic latched onto a single phrase, twisting it into a negative. Grimes explained,

“The inner critic thrives on insecurity and often distracts us from the full context of a situation. By naming it and creating space, you can refocus on the positive.”

New Level, New Devil

As you grow personally and professionally, the inner critic evolves, too. From Episode 2, remember we learned, “New level, new devil.” Each growth stage brings new challenges, but with the right tools, you can continue to quiet self-doubt and embrace confidence.

Beginner Tips for Managing the Inner Critic

If you’re just starting to recognize your inner critic, Grimes suggests these steps:

  • Notice Patterns: Pay attention to when and why your inner critic gets loudest.
  • Journaling: Writing down your thoughts can help you track and evaluate recurring themes objectively.
  • Therapy: A professional can guide you through this process and provide personalized strategies.

Key Takeaways from Natalie Grimes

This episode is packed with practical insights to help you manage your inner critic. Here are a few of Natalie’s standout quotes:

“Naming your inner critic helps you take control over negative thoughts and emotions.”

“Mindfulness allows you to observe your thoughts without judgment, creating space to respond instead of react.”

“Shame says, ‘I’m flawed.’ Guilt says, ‘I made a mistake.’ Knowing the difference is key to self-awareness.”

Listen Now

Ready to meet your inner critic and learn how to tame it? Tune into the latest episode of UnCeiling You featuring therapist Natalie Grimes. This conversation is perfect for anyone looking to improve their mindset and unlock their potential.

🎧 Listen to the episode here: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/c6c2339f-12ee-4d70-b714-a578733715e8/

🎧 Watch now and get inspired to unceiling your potential! 👉 https://youtu.be/KyBH7-E4XPY

Connect with Us

We’d love to hear from you!

  • What’s the name of your inner critic?
  • How do you manage self-doubt?

Drop a comment below or send us a message—we may feature your story in a future episode! Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review UnCeiling You to help more people discover the show.

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Let’s take the first step together toward silencing your inner critic and embracing the best version of you!

Julia Frense Maria on the UnCeiling You Podcast
Ambitious Women Natalie Luke

Navigating Big Roles, Imposter Syndrome, and Career Pivots: Insights from Rising Star Julia Frense Maria

In a recent episode of the UnCeiling You podcast, Natalie Luke, PhD, sat down with Julia Frense Maria, a rising star in the field of sourcing and procurement, to discuss the challenges and triumphs of taking on big roles, overcoming imposter syndrome, and making values-aligned career pivots. Julia shared inspiring stories and actionable advice for women at all career stages.

Taking the Leap: Embracing Big Roles Before Feeling Ready

Julia recounted her experience of being approached by a recruiter for a role that was several levels above her current position. While initially surprised, she decided to embrace the opportunity. The process involved interviews, flying out to meet company leaders, and even a meeting with the CEO.

She admitted feeling nervous and uncertain about stepping into the new role but emphasized the importance of embracing discomfort:

“Feeling insecure doesn’t mean you’re not capable. Lean into the discomfort, face the challenges, and trust yourself to grow into the role.”

Her key takeaway? Growth often begins outside of your comfort zone.

Aligning Passion and Values: A Career Pivot Moment

Julia shared a pivotal moment in her career when she realized her role no longer aligned with her values, despite initially feeling passionate about it. This realization led her to make a bold career move, establishing her three non-negotiables:

  1. A great work culture.
  2. Work-life balance.
  3. An impactful role.

She reflected on how this decision shaped her career:

“If the environment doesn’t feel right or it’s taking a toll on your mental health, it’s time to make a change. That pivot taught me to focus on what truly matters.”

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: A Lifelong Journey

Imposter syndrome is a recurring theme for many professionals, and Julia is no exception. She openly discussed feeling like an imposter in nearly every role she’s held:

“Imposter syndrome often comes with new challenges. I remind myself of my achievements and that no one knows everything. It’s about learning, making mistakes, and growing.”

Natalie echoed these sentiments, highlighting that even seasoned leaders experience self-doubt. She emphasized the importance of self-talk and resilience in navigating these feelings.

The Power of Networking and Mentorship

Julia attributes much of her success to cultivating relationships with mentors and leaders:

“Building relationships with people you admire is a skill. It opens doors, expands your skill set, and creates opportunities.”

She shared two standout networking stories:

  1. A conversation with a mentor led her to advocate for a new role, which ultimately resulted in her leading a new department.
  2. A year-and-a-half-long effort to build a relationship with a company’s head of development culminated in a unique role tailored to her skill set.

Her advice? Be vocal about your aspirations and nurture genuine connections.

Taking Risks and Growing Through Career Transitions

Throughout her 10-year career, Julia has worked across four industries, each transition bringing its own set of challenges and fears:

“Growth happens outside of your comfort zone. Each jump has broadened my perspective and enriched my skill set.”

She stressed that risks can be scary but often necessary for achieving meaningful rewards.

Advice for Women at All Career Stages

Julia offered tailored advice for three distinct groups of women:

  1. New Graduates: “Be open to possibilities and don’t be afraid to go after what you want. Use your voice and build relationships.”
  2. Professionals Feeling Unaligned: “Step back, reflect on what sparks your passion, and explore ways to incorporate it into your career. Don’t fear the unknown—networking can reveal unexpected opportunities.”
  3. Women Leaders: “Mentor younger women. Share your journey, insights, and support. Your guidance can inspire and empower others.”

Finding Bright Lights in Your Career

Julia closed with a powerful message:

“Seek out the bright lights—mentors and leaders who inspire and support you. They can help you navigate challenges and take the next step.”

For those interested in connecting with inspiring leaders like Julia, Natalie invites listeners to join the UnCeiling Zone, where members can engage directly with podcast guests.

Listen Now

Catch the full episode of UnCeiling You to hear more about Julia’s journey and insights on career growth, imposter syndrome, and networking. Don’t miss this inspiring conversation!

Watch Now

Catch the full episode of UnCeiling You to hear more about Julia’s journey and insights on career growth, imposter syndrome, and networking. Don’t miss this inspiring conversation!

https://youtu.be/M9ZZHBdX1Y4

Stay connected with the UnCeiling You community for more stories and strategies to unceiling your potential.

Guest Jennifer Pestikas on UnCeiling You
Uncategorized Natalie Luke

Embracing the Underdog Spirit: How Jennifer Pestikas Overcame Imposter Syndrome and Rose to Leadership

Have you ever felt like an underdog in your career? No matter how hard you work, the odds are stacked against you. You’re not alone. In the debut episode of UnCeiling You, host Natalie Luke dives deep with financial services leader Jennifer Pestikas to uncover the secrets to overcoming imposter syndrome, navigating career setbacks, and using ambition and imagination to rise to the top.

Jennifer’s inspiring journey, from her humble beginnings as a bank teller to becoming a respected industry leader, shows us that resilience and a growth mindset can turn challenges into opportunities. Keep reading to discover her story and actionable insights that can help you break through your own career barriers.

The Underdog Spirit: Lessons from Rocky and Real Life


Jennifer’s favorite movie, Rocky, mirrors her career journey. Like the iconic underdog, she faced numerous challenges, from grief and self-doubt to career roadblocks. Yet, she chose to rise each time.

In one pivotal moment, Jennifer stepped into a leadership role after the sudden passing of her mentor and boss. The experience tested her resilience and highlighted the importance of creativity in overcoming challenges.

“I had to get creative,” Jennifer shares. “There were only so many notes in his file cabinet. Even when I wasn’t ready, I had to figure out how to lead.”

Jennifer’s story is a reminder that resilience isn’t about avoiding failure—it’s about how you rise after being knocked down.

How Jennifer Overcame Imposter Syndrome


Imposter syndrome is a common struggle, especially for women in leadership roles. Jennifer candidly discusses how it affected her confidence and leadership early in her career.

“Imposter syndrome is tied to fear,” she explains. “But the key is to recognize it, take stock of your accomplishments, and reframe the story you’re telling yourself.”

Here’s how Jennifer reframed her mindset:

  1. Acknowledgment: Recognizing imposter syndrome as part of the growth process.
  2. Reflection: Reviewing past achievements to reinforce self-worth.
  3. Reframing: Creating positive affirmations to replace negative self-talk.

Her journey highlights that overcoming imposter syndrome isn’t a one-time fix—it’s an ongoing process that builds confidence over time.

Practical Career Lessons from Jennifer Pestikas


Jennifer’s conversation on UnCeiling You is packed with actionable advice for women navigating their own career challenges. Here are some key takeaways:

  1. Own Your Career: Don’t wait for someone else to advocate for you—take responsibility for your growth and advancement.
  2. Embrace the Underdog Mindset: Use setbacks as fuel for your ambition. Every challenge is an opportunity to grow stronger.
  3. Support Other Women: Amplify the voices of women in your workplace. Collaboration is more powerful than competition.
  4. Use Imagination and Ambition: Be creative in crafting your career story and bold in pursuing your goals.

Jennifer’s insights are not just inspiring—they’re practical tools for anyone looking to grow their confidence and career.

Why You Should Listen to This Episode


Jennifer Pestikas’ journey is more than a personal success story—it’s a guide for anyone feeling stuck or uncertain in their career. Whether you’re battling imposter syndrome, navigating a tough leadership moment, or simply looking for motivation, her story offers a roadmap to success.

In this podcast episode, you’ll learn:

  • How to navigate imposter syndrome and reframe self-doubt.
  • The power of imagination and ambition in overcoming challenges.
  • Strategies to take radical responsibility for your career.
  • How to build a supportive network that lifts you up.

Listen to the Episode Now
Ready to embrace your ambition and unceiling your potential? 🎧 Listen to the full episode here:

https://player.captivate.fm/episode/ed67348e-ce54-466c-ba3d-27065111d172/

Watch the Episode Now
Ready to embrace your ambition and unceiling your potential? 🎧 Watch the full episode here:

https://youtu.be/ZrQrmoIgNas

Conclusion
Jennifer Pestikas’ story proves that no matter where you start, you can write a powerful career narrative with ambition, imagination, and resilience. Her insights are a reminder that even when the odds are against you, you have the power to rise.

What’s your next chapter? Share your thoughts in the comments below, and don’t forget to subscribe to UnCeiling You for more inspiring stories and actionable advice.

#Podcast #WomenInLeadership #CareerGrowth #OvercomingImposterSyndrome #ResilienceAtWork #UnCeilingYou

Ambitious Women Natalie Luke

Gendered Language in Politics: How Words Shape Our Perception of Female Leaders

In late July 2024, Vice President Kamala Harris garnered the backing of most Democratic delegates, positioning her as the party’s presidential nominee. While most celebrated, others called her the “Childless Cat Lady.” This derogatory label not only demeans her personal choices but also highlights a broader issue: the impact of gendered and demeaning language. Such language shapes our perception of female leaders and reinforces harmful stereotypes.

The Historical Context of Gendered Language

Gendered language is not a new phenomenon. Historically, women in leadership have faced derogatory remarks that aim to undermine their authority and capabilities. From labeling powerful women as “hysterical” or “emotional” to using terms like “childless cat lady,” these words carry significant weight and impact.

For instance, during Margaret Thatcher’s tenure as the UK Prime Minister, she was often described using gendered language that highlighted her femininity in a pejorative manner. Similarly, Hillary Clinton faced a barrage of sexist comments during her presidential campaigns, which focused on her appearance, voice, and personal life rather than her policies and qualifications.

The Impact on Women in Leadership

The use of gendered language perpetuates stereotypes that women are less capable or less serious than their male counterparts. It reinforces the notion that a woman’s worth is tied to her adherence to traditional gender roles, such as motherhood or marital status. This not only affects public perception but also impacts women’s self-perception and ambition.

While women receive labels like “hysterical” or “emotional,” I’ve seen men who pound angrily on the table or scream at the top of their lungs to the point that everyone in the building can hear them being excused because they are considered “passionate” or “assertive.” This double standard further highlights women’s challenges in being taken seriously as leaders.

Research shows that women who are subjected to gendered language and stereotypes in the workplace are less likely to pursue leadership roles. They may internalize these negative messages, leading to self-doubt and diminished capability. This creates a cycle where fewer women aspire to leadership positions and those who do face additional barriers. It’s a matter of women internally measuring the cost and benefits of moving into leadership roles. The cost of enduring name-calling outweighs the benefits of becoming the leader she dreams of being.

The Case of Vice President Harris

The recent comments about Vice President Harris being a “childless cat lady” are a stark reminder of women’s ongoing challenges in becoming the leaders they were meant to be. These remarks attempt to diminish her professional achievements and send a message to other ambitious women: your personal choices will be used against you.

Such language is particularly harmful because it trivializes Harris’s extensive career and contributions. Instead of focusing on her policies, leadership skills, and achievements, the conversation is diverted to her personal life. This shift in focus undermines her authority and distracts from the real issues.

Step Up to the Challenge

We must challenge and change the narrative surrounding women in leadership. Recognizing and calling out gendered language when we encounter it is crucial. Doing so can help create a more equitable and respectful environment for all leaders, regardless of gender.

We want to hear from you! How has gendered language affected your professional life or ambitions? Share your thoughts and stories in the comments below or send us a voicemail. We can shed light on these issues together and work towards a more inclusive future.

Career Development Natalie Luke

Unlocking Your Potential: Overcoming Limiting Beliefs to Build Your Dream Career

Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming about your dream career, only to be halted by thoughts like, “I’m not good enough,” or “I don’t have what it takes”? If so, you’re not alone.

Many of us grapple with limiting beliefs that undermine our confidence and hinder us from pursuing our desired careers. The good news is that these beliefs can be challenged and overcome. In this blog post, we’ll delve into the common limiting beliefs that hold individuals back from building their dream careers and provide actionable strategies to unlock your potential.

Identifying the Culprits: Common Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are negative thoughts or assumptions about ourselves, our abilities, and our potential for success. These beliefs can be deeply ingrained, often stemming from past experiences, societal pressures, or fear of failure. Some common limiting beliefs that might be familiar include:

  1. Imposter Syndrome: The feeling that you don’t deserve your achievements and are just pretending to be competent.
  2. Fear of Failure: The belief that failure is catastrophic and should be avoided at all costs.
  3. Comparisons to Others: Constantly comparing yourself to others and feeling inadequate.
  4. False Belief in Lack of Skills: Believing that you need more skills or qualifications to pursue your dream career.

Empowering Strategies to Overcome Limiting Beliefs

  1. Self-Awareness: Begin by identifying your limiting beliefs. Write them down and reflect on where they originated. Understanding their roots can help you challenge their validity.
  2. Positive Affirmations: Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. For example, if you think, “I’m not smart enough,” counteract it with, “I am capable of learning and growing,” “I am constantly learning and growing,” “I possess unique talents and strengths that contribute to my success,” “I can acquire new skills and knowledge whenever I choose to,” “I am capable of tackling challenges and finding creative solutions,” and “My intelligence is not fixed; I can improve and excel with dedication and effort.”
  3. Embrace Failure as Learning: Shift your perspective about failure. Instead of fearing it, see failure as a stepping stone toward growth and improvement.
  4. Set Realistic Goals: Break down your dream career into smaller, achievable goals. This helps you focus on progress and boosts your confidence as you accomplish each milestone.
  5. Seek Support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of mentors, friends, and colleagues who can provide encouragement and constructive feedback.

Real-Life Success Stories: Inspiration in Action

Let’s look at a real-life success story to show you that overcoming limiting beliefs is possible. Jane Smith, a once self-doubting artist, battled the idea that she wasn’t good enough to make a living from her art. She silenced her inner critic through consistent positive affirmations, seeking professional development opportunities, and joining an artist’s community. She built a successful art career that fulfills her creative aspirations.

Know your dream career is within reach, and overcoming limiting beliefs is the key to unlocking your potential. Recognizing and challenging these beliefs, practicing positive affirmations, and seeking support can transform self-doubt into self-confidence and turn your aspirations into reality. Remember, your journey might have setbacks, but each step you take toward your dream career brings you closer to a fulfilling and purpose-driven life.

Seeking assistance in recognizing your limiting beliefs? Access my complimentary ‘Uncovering Limiting Beliefs’ journaling exercise for guidance. Download it now and embark on a journey of self-discovery.

Download Your Free “Identification and Clearing Limiting Beliefs” Tool Here
Career Development Natalie Luke

How Mary Dealt with Unconscious Gender Bias

Mary, a highly competent employee, had achieved great success in her position, but then she could sense a change in her corporation over time. She noticed she was being treated differently than her male colleagues, receiving less recognition for her work, getting passed over for promotions, and being given fewer essential tasks.

At first, she wasn’t sure if gender bias was happening and if it was in her imagination. She decided to pay closer attention to how she was treated and documented suspicious incidents.

Upon documenting various activities, Mary noticed a pattern and realized she was being treated differently because of her gender. Mary was not receiving the same treatment as her male counterparts. For example, she was given fewer responsibilities and opportunities. Mary was also treated with less respect. Her male colleagues were given more recognition for their work, and even when they were working on similar projects, the men were given more resources than she was. Mary also noticed folks making assumptions or comments about gender roles, for example, “You seem to be emotional about that issue.” And “Boy, you worked late last night, aren’t you the workaholic?”

What are two different forms of gender bias?

Gender bias is a form of prejudice or discrimination based on a person’s gender. It can be either overt or unconscious. Overt gender bias is when someone is openly biased against someone based on gender. This bias is usually pronounced and can be verbal or physical harassment. Unconscious gender bias is when someone is unaware they are biased against a person based on gender. This type of bias is more subtle and often occurs without the person realizing it.

Both overt and unconscious gender bias can have a negative impact on individuals, organizations, and society as a whole. Overt gender bias can lead to discrimination in the workplace, educational opportunities, and other areas of life. Unconscious gender bias can lead to a lack of diversity in decision-making and representation in leadership roles. Both types of bias can also lead to a lack of trust and respect among members of society, which can have far-reaching consequences.


What did Mary do as a result of unconscious gender bias?

Mary was worried about bringing the issue to her boss. On the one hand, Mary knew that speaking up would bring attention to the problem of gender bias and help to create change in her organization. On the other hand, she felt intimidated, what if her boss didn’t recognize the situation for what it was? Mary felt there was a risk of retaliation.

Mary decided to speak up and to do so effectively and respectfully. Mary knew that even though it was intimidating, it was also important to let those involved know that their behavior hurt the organization by shutting down creative ideas. Mary decided to speak up when she felt comfortable doing so. She wanted to feel confident that bringing attention to gender bias would not negatively affect her relationship with the person, so her comments were primarily private.

Mary started by asking questions or making statements to challenge the behaviors. For example, she asked, “Why would you assume that I can’t perform that project?” or “How do you think Sally felt when you made that comment?”

Even though it was difficult, Mary felt rewarded for saying something because, in the end, she wanted to create an environment where everyone felt respected and valued. By Mary recognizing and addressing unconscious gender bias at work, Mary did her part in creating a more equitable workplace.

What you should know…

Gender bias is an issue that has been present in the workplace for far too long. It is an issue that can be difficult to recognize and address, especially for those who are not part of the human resources department. However, it is possible for individuals not in HR to recognize and address unconscious gender bias at work.

The first step is to recognize the signs of unconscious gender bias. This can be tricky because it is not always obvious. Some signs to look out for gender-specific include language, such as referring to a group of people as “guys” or “ladies.” Additionally, look out for subtle differences in how tasks are allocated, such as tasks being assigned to men more often than women and vice versa.

Once you have identified unconscious gender bias, the next step is to address the issue. This can be done in a variety of ways. The most important thing is to be open and honest about your concerns. Speak up and let those involved know their inappropriate behavior needs to stop. Additionally, being aware of and challenging your biases when they arise is crucial.

Finally, creating an environment where everyone feels respected and valued is essential. This can be done by ensuring everyone is given equal opportunities and that the workplace is free from discrimination. Additionally, provide training and resources to ensure everyone knows the importance of diversity and inclusion.

By recognizing and addressing unconscious gender bias at work, nonhuman resource individuals can help create a more equitable workplace. By doing so, they can ensure that everyone is treated fairly and given the same opportunities to succeed.

Would you like tips and tools for feeling confident? Check out the resources page for free tools.

Confidence Building Natalie Luke

Lessons From Florida Gulf Coast University

On February 6 and 7th of 2023, I was honored to speak to the STEM students and faculty of Florida Golf Coast University (FGCU) thanks to my new friend Dr. Laura Frost, the Associate Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences at FGCU. Undoubtedly, Dr. Frost is notable because she advocates for women faculty members and students in STEM fields.

Academics are biased against women, especially married women.

Dr. Frost’s work is important because only 23 to 25% of competitive faculty grants went to women in 2007. Comparatively, a majority (54%-63%) of NIH or NSF predoctoral awards were given to women in 2007. Research shows that many women drop out of academic pursuits before attaining tenure. In fact, marriage and having children dramatically lower a woman’s chances of achieving tenure in the academic sector, with her chances being 35% lower than men who start a family and 33% lower than single women.1

Why is it so hard for women, especially married women, to succeed academically? It’s complex but boils down to an antiquated structure biased against women.

I’ve heard from several women and their difficult experiences in academics. Before the FGCU talk, I interviewed other women who spoke of their heartbreaking stories during graduate school and throughout the tenure process.

Treat gender bias with diplomacy and people with respect.

My talk’s main focus was to know that those with gender bias are ignorant yet must be treated with respect. While my viewpoint is simplistic, there is a method to my madness.

I believe those guilty of gender bias are either ignorant or self-serving.

Assuming all those who are gender biased are self-serving puts you in danger of causing the innocent of having a bruised ego. Those with a bruised ego resist learning. Instead, the job is to educate the innocent and enter a pissing contest with those who are self-serving.

A pissing contest involves either going for distance or time. Going for distance involves having a full bladder and then pushing out all your vinegar and anger as quickly as possible to make sure you hit your mark, influencing all those around you in your favor. Going for time is more calculating. Going for time involves dribbling your message for a long time, influencing all you can.

I’ve always performed better going for time than distance. Therefore, I advocated for treating ignorance with diplomacy and treating people with respect.

Notice I don’t advocate ignoring gender bias. Giving up on our dreams does just that. I support the diplomatic method of calling out bias as the best method of addressing it. Such behavior requires emotional maturity, confidence, and an inner knowing that we will succeed in achieving our dreams. It requires quiet strength and tremendous faith in ourselves, our future, and those we want to influence.

Treat ignorance as if it’s simply an objection that needs to be overcome.

My viewpoint is counterintuitive and emotionally challenging to execute. How would you treat ignorance respectfully, especially when dealing with gross unfairness?

It’s a path worth pursuing because research shows that others, especially black women, have navigated bias with diplomacy and succeeded.2

My viewpoint also comes from my experience in sales and marketing. I’ve learned you can’t close a sale by “fighting” against customer objections. Instead, I’ve always sought to understand a person’s objections, view objections as a misunderstanding, then strived to educate.

I believe we can use the same process to combat gender bias. We have a product to deliver: our intellect and ability to obtain grants, and those with gender bias are missing out on the outcomes we can provide the University. Those with gender bias who think we can’t deliver when we get married or have children are mistaken. We can deliver, abet, sometimes on a longer timetable.

Be your own champion.

We can expose gender bias diplomatically. Still, as we do so, it is also vital that we clean up our side of the street by ensuring we maintain confidence in ourselves and our abilities by not thinking too small, preparing constructively for success, being our best advocates, and building a network of supporters who will advocate for us when we are not in the room.

How did people respond to the message?

Some attendees felt the message was over-simplistic and that we needed to go deeper. And they were correct; we can go deeper.

Other participants left with a greater sense of self-belief, saying that they were more determined to do the following:

  • Know it’s okay to follow their intuition.
  • To pursue their dreams despite self-doubt or pushback from others.
  • Even though going for a goal is scary and there is self-doubt, still go for it.
  • When there is a challenge or setback, keep your head high, stay dignified, and keep going for it.

Still, other attendees also reported that reflecting on their own lives was essential. After hearing the talk, they decided to stop and think about how to change the situation rather than give up and give into their problems.

I loved my time with the incredible women of FGCU, and I hope these women continue to exert self-confidence as they pursue their dreams.

Check out the resource page to explore tools to motivate you to achieve your dreams.

  1. Goulden, M., Mason, M. A. and Frasch, K., Keeping Women in the Science Pipeline, The ANNALS of the American Academy of Political and Social Science, vol. 638, no. 1, pp. 141–62, 2011. DOI: 10.1177/0002716211416925
  2. Gause, S. A. F., Black Women’s Resiliency in Community College Leadership, Journal of Education Human Resources, vol. 40, no. 3, pp. 386–409, 2022. DOI: 10.3138/jehr-2021-0012
Career Development Natalie Luke

8 Mistakes That Derail Your Career

Putting on your big girl pants is essential because your career won’t manage itself. There are times when even superstars make mistakes that harm, or even derail, their careers. The amount of time you spend at work is considerable. It would be a shame to undo all the hard work you have put into it by making a mistake that could have been avoided easily.

Avoid these mistakes that harm your career:

Undervaluing your worth. Don’t hesitate to ask if you deserve a raise or promotion. It is rare for a company to give you more than you ask for. As long as you are willing to stay in the same place and earn the same salary, they are more than happy to accommodate you. It is essential to be assertive, but don’t let your assertiveness become a nuisance. Remember that you can always search for another position if you feel undervalued.

Failing to toot your own horn. Don’t keep your good work to yourself. Communicate with others, making sure people know about your work. Make use of LinkedIn and keep your activities up-to-date. Have you told your peers what you’re working on? Do they even know what you’re doing? Let everyone know how great you are.

Take on projects that showcase your strengths. Allow yourself to be seen if you want to succeed. As a result, others will notice, and your reputation will grow.

It’s a narrow path; you’ll need to avoid bragging while also letting folks know about your great work. 

Gossiping. It is generally not a good idea to speak badly about others. Unless you have something positive to say about someone, avoid talking about them. Oversharing has negatively affected everyone at some point. Discuss your ideas and the person you are conversing within the conversation.

Failing to make your boss look good. You’re there to serve your boss at the end of the day. Your job is secure if you make her look good. 

Being too negative. It’s not acceptable to constantly complain or criticize at work. Ensure that your workplace maintains high standards and that you are supportive of them. It may be time to look for a new job if you cannot think of anything positive about work.

Staying away from negative people is also a good policy. If you associate with them, you may be penalized.

Searching for another job on company time. Your company could check your internet log occasionally. You may find your employment ending if you spend all your time on Monster.com. Search for a new career on your own time and computer

Publically searching for a new job. It’s your business what you do on your own time, but you want to keep your employer from knowing. Keep a lid on your social media messages. It’s optional, or intelligent, for the entire world to see that you’d like to work for someone else.

Underdressing. Take a look around the building where you work. It is common for people with more prestigious jobs to dress better than the rest. Dress like your boss if you want to be taken seriously. Dress differently from your peers.

In your workplace, people will start associating you with influential people. You’ll have a better chance of succeeding when a new job opening arises within the company.

Avoid making mistakes that can derail your career. To summarize, remain professional and value your abilities. When considering a career change, keep your search to yourself. Career complacency is not a good thing. Take charge of your career and see it flourish.

Career Development Natalie Luke

Transform Your Career by Developing Emotional Intelligence for the Workplace

As more studies show emotional intelligence improves employee productivity and job performance, it becomes a more coveted skill in the office.

Emotional intelligence is when you can understand the emotions of yourself and others and manage your own feelings well. It shows a balance between intellect and self-awareness.

Emotional intelligence is an asset. Studies show that emotional intelligence training improves employee productivity. That may be because emotional intelligence reflects an ability to make better decisions, problem-solving skills, and being a great communicator.

Emotionally intelligent people can come up with solutions from a holistic perspective. 

Emotional intelligence is rated into four categories:

  1. Self-management. Thinking clearly when you feel stressed, anxious, or angry is challenging. Self-management is the ability to separate your emotions from how you should act.
  2. Self-awareness. You can change negative habits, thoughts, or behaviors by becoming self-aware. Your beliefs and emotions affect your thoughts and behaviors when you have a high level of self-awareness. 
  3. Social awareness. Being socially aware means being able to “read the room.” This ability allows you to see social dynamics and understand what others need to feel comfortable. An indicator of social awareness is how well you can pick up on social cues and needs. 
  4. Relationship management. A good relationship manager works well with others, manages conflict well, and builds positive relationships. Good interpersonal skills are indicated by good relationship management.

Are you interested in improving your emotional awareness to excel at work?

Follow these tips to build emotional intelligence: 

  1. Practice self-awareness. Being self-aware entails being able to look at yourself objectively. 

To develop this:

● Practice self-reflection in a journal daily.

● Notice when you are triggered. 

● Think about the feedback you receive.

● Practice seeing things from other people’s points of view and not just your own.

2. Receive criticism with grace. Don’t react to criticism without thinking. Learn from criticism and grow from it.

3. See conflict as an opportunity to learn and understand more about others. It can be frustrating to deal with conflict, but it is inevitable. Take conflict as an opportunity to understand another person’s perspective instead of avoiding it.

4. Learn to “read the room.” Do you have a good sense of what people around you are feeling? Is there someone you can turn to when you need help? What “unwritten rules” do people follow at your workplace? Position yourself in your organization as a superstar or a changemaker if you can read the room. 

5. Listen to others. Listening is a skill that people with high emotional intelligence possess. Do you talk all the time or make space to listen? Listen to what people say in meetings and ask what they think.

6. Speak up and express yourself. Speaking up when it matters is also a skill that emotionally intelligent people possess as excellent listening skills. Feel free to pitch your out-of-the-box ideas or make sure your opinions get heard!

7. Work to people’s strengths. Different people have different strengths and work differently. Adapt to the different types of people on your team. Create an environment where each person can thrive and be engaged and innovative.

People with higher emotional intelligence efficiently manage their stress levels, build better relationships, and read the room.

● The ability to manage your own stress levels enables you to lead a team through high-stress situations calmly.

● Maintaining good relationships with your team members will keep them motivated and engaged.

● Reading the room can also help you find the right person to approach when working on a problem or noticing a colleague is stressed. 

Developing emotional intelligence will benefit you both at work and outside of it. 

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Confidence Building Natalie Luke

Modern Rules for Women Supporting Other Women at Work

If you’re feeling unhappy at work, you are not alone. The employee well-being platform Gympass surveyed 9,000 employees worldwide and found that nearly half (48%) reported a decline in well-being in 2022. The survey found that over 25% of respondents were “completely unhappy” at work. Moreover, a recent Gallup survey found that 60% of employees are emotionally detached from their jobs, and employee stress is at an all-time high.1

Women in the workplace experience unique challenges, such as financial insecurity and increased burdens on parents and caregivers. Without additional resources, it’s easy to burn out.

Discover how women can support each other. Here are some practical strategies for bonding and collaborating with other women. 

Cultivate Relationships

Harvard Business Review research found that both male and female executives likely had a diverse network of peers. However, it is also crucial for women to have close female friends to achieve greater authority and higher salaries.2

Keep these strategies in mind:

  1. Focus on giving wisely. Helping others is essential to building professional networks and personal friendships. You can lend your expertise and time by reaching out to others. Create a supportive environment by performing random acts of kindness when it makes sense, and you can do so from a centered place while setting boundaries. Give when you don’t feel you will resent giving.
  2. Be selective. It is more important to have quality friendships than quantity. Find other women who share your interests and values. If someone consistently fails to respect your boundaries or declines your invitations to get together, move on. 
  3. Pace yourself. Mutually beneficial relationships take time to develop. Be patient. Learn about each other gradually.
  4. Have fun. Friends see each other outside of the office and talk about stuff besides spreadsheets and coding. Plan outings and host parties. Take a vacation or bake cookies together.

Encourage Work-Life Balance

It is still the case that women are responsible for the overwhelming majority of household work at home. According to the American Psychological Association, stress and other health issues are caused by this.3

Try these techniques to enhance work-life balance:

  1. Suggest flexible hours. A significant increase in remote work opportunities has been attributed to the pandemic. Supervisors at your company are willing to experiment with alternative schedules as long as employees complete their responsibilities.
  2. Examine benefits. Tell your employer what perks matter to you and other women at your workplace. You may prefer gym memberships instead of bean bag chairs and ping pong tables. 
  3. Review workloads. Does your performance review reflect realistic expectations? See if adjustments need to be made with your colleagues.
  4. Take time off. Studies have shown that excessive overtime and unused vacation days reduce productivity. Set an example by leaving the office at a reasonable hour and taking advantage of your annual leave.

Develop Leadership Skills

There are also challenges facing women at the top. Also described in the McKinsey report are Onlys: women at their level who are the sole or only woman. Their workload is more likely to be pushed, and they are more likely to be victimized by microaggressions.

These strategies can help:

  1. Support mentoring. Depending on your career stage, you can look for a mentor or become one yourself. You might even do both. These relationships provide guidance and build community.
  2. Advocate for others. The Devil Wears Prada stereotype holds some truth, unfortunately. Regardless of whether your company culture tolerates bullying of other women, break the cycle. Women must have the courage and compassion to provide constructive feedback and assist other women in advancing their careers.
  3. Network with women. Become a member of a professional women’s group or start your own. Take advantage of conferences that other women are attending and follow up with interesting acquaintances.
  4. Make referrals. Introductions and referrals are effective ways to help other women. Partner with others to find new clients, partners, and friends.

One woman’s success can benefit others too. Ensure that you create an environment in which the accomplishments of each individual are maximized and celebrated.

References:

  1. https://hrexecutive.com/startling-new-wellbeing-data-is-a-call-to-action-for-hr-leaders/?oly_enc_id=7454I7927023I4L
  2. https://hbr.org/2019/02/research-men-and-women-need-different-kinds-of-networks-to-succeed
  3. https://www.livescience.com/20943-housework-distresses-women.html
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