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The FRED Framework: Reverse Engineering Your Success
Career Development Natalie Luke

The FRED Framework: Reverse Engineering Your Success

In Episode 8 of UnCeiling You, Natalie Luke, PhD, sits down with Mariette Frey to explore her transformative FRED Framework, a practical tool designed to reverse-engineer success in any area of life. Whether you’re navigating career changes, moving to a new city, or tackling personal goals, the FRED Framework provides actionable steps to turn fear into empowerment.

🎙️ Episode Release Date: March 24, 2025
🎧 Listen Here: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/cabe3af7-0c14-4361-893a-96544a7adc2c/

🎧 Watch Here: https://youtu.be/yuVXWs6b97E

What Is the FRED Framework?

The FRED Framework is a values-based system Mariette created to help individuals tackle life’s transitions with clarity and confidence. It consists of four pillars:

  1. Finances: Assess the financial resources and investments required to achieve your goal.
  2. Robustness: Build mental and physical resilience to overcome challenges.
  3. Ecosystem: Surround yourself with supportive communities and networks.
  4. Dreams: Define and refine your aspirations, turning them into actionable goals.

Key Insight: “Reverse-engineering your dreams allows you to break them into achievable steps. Start with the end in mind and work backward to define your path forward.”

Crossing the Corporate Monkey Bars

Mariette discusses the concept of lateral career moves as a way to gain clarity and align with personal strengths. She highlights how imagination and ambition are key to navigating these transitions:

Mariette’s Tip:
“Sometimes the best path isn’t up but across. By exploring different roles, you can discover what truly lights you up.”

Navigating Change with Resilience

Having moved 19 times in 24 years, Mariette understands the fear and excitement that come with transitions. She shares how self-awareness and preparation can transform fear of the unknown into an opportunity for growth.

Mariette’s Advice:
“Reframe fear as a sign that you’re about to level up. What if it’s not terrifying? What if it’s amazing?”

Her moves have taught her to embrace change with optimism and find beauty in the process, whether it’s decluttering a home or rebuilding a sense of community.

Using the FRED Framework to Overcome Fear

Mariette provides a step-by-step approach to applying the FRED Framework to any goal:

  1. Define Your Dream: Get specific about your goal and what success looks like.
  2. Plan Finances: Calculate the costs, both financial and time-related, needed to achieve your dream.
  3. Build Robustness: Strengthen your mental and physical resilience to face challenges.
  4. Create Your Ecosystem: Identify and engage with people and resources that will support your journey.

A Story of Transformation

Mariette shares a compelling story of coaching a friend through a career transition. Despite her friend’s initial fear and self-doubt, the FRED Framework helped her evaluate the opportunity objectively, align her values, and step into a role that exceeded her expectations.

Key Takeaway: “If there’s no data to prove you’ll fail, then go for it. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and push you forward.”

Practical Tips for Making a Move

Mariette’s advice isn’t limited to career changes—it applies to physical moves, personal growth, and more:

  • Plan Ahead: Prepare financially and emotionally for the transition.
  • Grieve What You Leave Behind: Acknowledge the emotional impact of leaving a familiar place or situation.
  • Book a Trip Back: Visiting your old environment can validate why you made the change and help you move forward.

Imagination and Ambition in Action

Mariette emphasizes the importance of using imagination and ambition to push past fear and achieve meaningful change:

  • Ask ‘What If It’s Amazing?’ Shift your mindset to focus on possibilities rather than obstacles.
  • Reframe Negative Thoughts: Recognize when fear is holding you back and consciously choose a more empowering perspective.
  • Lean Into Growth: Fear often signals an opportunity for leveling up—embrace it.

Get in Touch with Mariette

Mariette Frey is passionate about helping individuals navigate transitions and achieve their goals. You can connect with her through:

“If fear is holding you back, it’s probably a sign you’re heading in the right direction. Take the leap!”

Key Takeaways for Listeners

  1. Use the FRED Framework to clarify your goals and break them into actionable steps.
  2. Reframe fear as a sign of growth and opportunity.
  3. Build a supportive community to help you navigate transitions.
  4. Grieve what you leave behind to fully embrace the new chapter.
  5. Reverse-engineer your dreams to create a roadmap to success.

🎧 Listen to Episode: The FRED Framework: Reverse Engineering Your Success
🌟 Connect with Mariette Frey: Mariette Frey

How Embracing Uncertainty and Taking Bold Steps Can Unlock Your Full Potential
Ambitious Women Natalie Luke

Navigating Growth: When Saying Yes Before You’re Ready Changes Everything

How embracing uncertainty and taking bold steps can unlock your full potential.

Introduction

What keeps you from saying “yes” to that next big opportunity? Is it fear, self-doubt, or the thought that you’re not quite ready? In Episode 7 of UnCeiling You, Pamela shares how saying yes before she felt fully prepared transformed her career. Her journey, spanning small startups and corporate giants, reminds us that growth happens when we embrace the unknown.

🎙️ Episode Release Date: February 17, 2025.
Listen Here: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/8df34f43-dbdf-4338-8112-5f343efda009/

The Power of Saying Yes Before You’re Ready

Pamela’s career is a masterclass in taking risks and figuring things out along the way. Starting in a scrappy startup, she wore multiple hats—HR, compliance, operations—often with no roadmap or formal training.

“I didn’t always know what I was doing,” she admits. “But every day, I learned something new. Saying yes before I felt ready made me stronger, more adaptable, and more valuable to the team.”

When she transitioned into the structured world of large corporations, Pamela faced new challenges: navigating silos, staying visible, and building trust with leadership. But once again, she leaned into the discomfort of the unknown and thrived.

Breaking Free from the Experience Trap

One of the key themes in this episode is the “experience trap”—the belief that you need to be fully qualified or have done something before you can take it on. Pamela challenges this mindset:

“If you wait until you feel 100% ready, you’ll miss so many opportunities. The only way to gain experience is to start.”

This episode is packed with practical advice for anyone who’s hesitated to step into a new role, project, or career path because they felt underprepared.

Lessons from Pamela’s Journey

Here are three powerful takeaways from Pamela’s story:

  1. Say Yes and Figure It Out Later
    Growth happens outside your comfort zone. Even if you’re not sure you can handle something, trust yourself to learn along the way.
  2. Advocate for Yourself
    When you take on new challenges, make sure others see your contributions. Use meetings and projects to showcase your value.
  3. Dream Big, Act Boldly
    During a workshop exercise, Pamela asked participants to visualize their wildest dreams. One participant said, “I want to go to Mars.” This kind of bold thinking is exactly what leads to extraordinary growth.

Why Saying Yes Matters

Saying yes isn’t just about career advancement—it’s about building confidence and unlocking your potential. When Pamela looks back on her journey, she sees how each bold decision paved the way for the next.

“Every opportunity I said yes to—even when I felt scared—added to my skills, my confidence, and my ability to tackle even bigger challenges.”

This mindset isn’t just for career professionals—it’s for anyone who wants to grow and thrive in life.

How to Say Yes Before You’re Ready

Feeling inspired but unsure how to take that first step? Here are some tips from Pamela’s experience:

  • Reframe Fear as Excitement: Nervousness is a sign you’re on the edge of growth. Embrace it.
  • Trust In Your Ability to Learn: You don’t need to have all the answers now; you’ll figure it out.
  • Surround Yourself with Support: Find mentors, friends, or colleagues who lift you up and encourage you to take risks.

Conclusion

What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever said yes to? As Pamela’s story shows, saying yes before you’re ready can lead to incredible growth, unexpected opportunities, and a more fulfilling life.

🎧 Episode 7 of UnCeiling You is live now! Tune in for Pamela’s inspiring journey and her advice on taking bold steps.

Listen Here: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/8df34f43-dbdf-4338-8112-5f343efda009/

Watch Here: https://youtu.be/plan9_MiIfM

Call to Action

Do you know someone who’s hesitating to take their next big leap? Share this blog with them, and let’s inspire more people to say YES to growth!

Ambitious Women Natalie Luke

Gendered Language in Politics: How Words Shape Our Perception of Female Leaders

In late July 2024, Vice President Kamala Harris garnered the backing of most Democratic delegates, positioning her as the party’s presidential nominee. While most celebrated, others called her the “Childless Cat Lady.” This derogatory label not only demeans her personal choices but also highlights a broader issue: the impact of gendered and demeaning language. Such language shapes our perception of female leaders and reinforces harmful stereotypes.

The Historical Context of Gendered Language

Gendered language is not a new phenomenon. Historically, women in leadership have faced derogatory remarks that aim to undermine their authority and capabilities. From labeling powerful women as “hysterical” or “emotional” to using terms like “childless cat lady,” these words carry significant weight and impact.

For instance, during Margaret Thatcher’s tenure as the UK Prime Minister, she was often described using gendered language that highlighted her femininity in a pejorative manner. Similarly, Hillary Clinton faced a barrage of sexist comments during her presidential campaigns, which focused on her appearance, voice, and personal life rather than her policies and qualifications.

The Impact on Women in Leadership

The use of gendered language perpetuates stereotypes that women are less capable or less serious than their male counterparts. It reinforces the notion that a woman’s worth is tied to her adherence to traditional gender roles, such as motherhood or marital status. This not only affects public perception but also impacts women’s self-perception and ambition.

While women receive labels like “hysterical” or “emotional,” I’ve seen men who pound angrily on the table or scream at the top of their lungs to the point that everyone in the building can hear them being excused because they are considered “passionate” or “assertive.” This double standard further highlights women’s challenges in being taken seriously as leaders.

Research shows that women who are subjected to gendered language and stereotypes in the workplace are less likely to pursue leadership roles. They may internalize these negative messages, leading to self-doubt and diminished capability. This creates a cycle where fewer women aspire to leadership positions and those who do face additional barriers. It’s a matter of women internally measuring the cost and benefits of moving into leadership roles. The cost of enduring name-calling outweighs the benefits of becoming the leader she dreams of being.

The Case of Vice President Harris

The recent comments about Vice President Harris being a “childless cat lady” are a stark reminder of women’s ongoing challenges in becoming the leaders they were meant to be. These remarks attempt to diminish her professional achievements and send a message to other ambitious women: your personal choices will be used against you.

Such language is particularly harmful because it trivializes Harris’s extensive career and contributions. Instead of focusing on her policies, leadership skills, and achievements, the conversation is diverted to her personal life. This shift in focus undermines her authority and distracts from the real issues.

Step Up to the Challenge

We must challenge and change the narrative surrounding women in leadership. Recognizing and calling out gendered language when we encounter it is crucial. Doing so can help create a more equitable and respectful environment for all leaders, regardless of gender.

We want to hear from you! How has gendered language affected your professional life or ambitions? Share your thoughts and stories in the comments below or send us a voicemail. We can shed light on these issues together and work towards a more inclusive future.

Visioning Natalie Luke

Two Simple Tools to Navigate Workplace Storms

As strong women who desire to grow because of a high drive for success, a will to succeed, and yes, even a fear of failure. The problem arises when we also have the desire to please those around us. The need to achieve, combined with a pleasing personality, could make us sensitive to the waves of a storm that beat against us as if we were a boat in the ocean. Without a navigation device, the waves battering a ship could have the ability to take us wildly off course, mainly because we have a “pleaser” type of personality.  

A Desire to Succeed + Please Others + Not Fail = Warning Sign

Our firm desire to please and succeed could lead us to pursue our goals without considering the warning signs of danger. Additionally, a fear of failure could cause us to cut off our creativity in solving problems. 

Your First Tool

There is a way to stay true to ourselves with a navigation device that helps us stay true to who we are and where we are going. That device is to create a compelling vision of where it is that we want to grow. 

As explained in my book “UnCeiling Your Career,” a compelling vision shares that the vision should be audacious enough to make your palms sweat. It should also include the type of emotions you would like to embody as you are on your journey. These feelings could include purposeful, pleasure, satisfaction, joy, flow, opportunity, giving, supporting, calm, objective, collaboration, caring, and cooperation.

Your Second Tool

Additionally, realize that you have a wise voice inside you. Recognizing your wise voice and listening to it as you are buffeted by the storm is essential. The intelligent agent inside you will help you make small daily changes. The small needful change in direction causes us to end up in a far better place than we would without the regular necessary course adjustments.  

How do you know you are accessing and sensing your inner voice of wisdom? So many thoughts hit us in a day; the inspirational voice can get lost. 

Get to Know Your Intuitive Voice

My husband and I grocery shop together, and when we do so, we typically divide and concur. Our grocery list is generated ahead of time, so it’s off to the store we go to. My husband usually pushes the cart, dividing the list and having it. I carry as much as possible, find him, and then dump the items in the cart to get more. 

Separating is really critical on days that the grocery store is busy. We find we can navigate the store faster using this method, which helps us keep spending strictly on the items we need. Our shopping is completed quickly, and then we are on to the rest of our day. 

On one occasion, when the store was bustling, we separated while shopping as usual. The item I was looking for was, what I thought, only one aisle away, and while I was in the aisle, my husband called out, in a soft voice, Natalie, could you also get this one other item? “No problem, got it,” I answered. 

I didn’t realize that when I separated from my husband, he immediately moved 4 aisles away. When he called out, I thought he was still in the aisle next to me. I found him 4 isles away from where he called out, asking me to pick up the other item. I was shocked, “You yelled for me across the whole store with all these people here?” He replied, “No, I used the same voice volume as I am now!” I asked, “Did you hear my reply?” He did. 

We were both amazed. How can we hear one another from so far away and with so many other people, music overhead, and voices around us using a conversational voice? 

It was because we knew each other’s voices so well that we could pick each other out in a crowd.  

Tools to Hearing Your Intuition

The best way to distinguish the “still, small wise voice” is to get clear on your vision through journaling and then experiment with hearing our wise voice. Keep tabs on your gut. When you get a sense of the messages, either act or not act on the message you receive. Note the outcome. Over time, the wise voice will become stronger and stronger as you learn to listen to it.

Each of us has a “still small wise voice” that delivers words of wisdom and navigates guidance daily. Knowing your vision, then using the wise voice, keeps you on the course, causing you to end up in a far better place than you would be without the regular necessary course adjustments.  

Want to learn more? Grab your “UnCeiling Your Career – At Any Age” book at any location you like to buy books.

Dealing with a Work Bully? Click here for help
Ready to Get Over Imposter Syndrome? Click here to get started
Positive Thinking Natalie Luke

Three Simple Questions to Manage Your Inner Critic

Psychologist Martin Seligman has conducted extensive research on optimism, and we can use his questions to manage our inner critic. Seligman has developed a formula for changing negative self-talk to positive self-talk. In his book Learned Optimism, Seligman explains three different ways to perceive any event.  

  1. Is this about me?  In other words, when an event happens for which your inner critic speaks up, your critic might believe that “negative things happen all the time and reflect your life in general.”
  2. How long will this situation last? The inner critic tends to talk you into believing that the event will continue for a very long time, if not forever.
  3. What do I have control over? Your inner critic will convince you that you have no control over the situation and that you’ll never have control.

Let’s manage the inner critic by apply the three questions to a situation…

The Situation

Imagine that you are a sales executive and are preparing to meet with a client for an important meeting. If you are counting on closing this sale to reach your yearly sales quota, this meeting will make or break your year as far as your sales quota is concerned. You have prepared yourself for the conference and are looking forward to discussing your products and services with the important person in the firm on a Monday afternoon. You organize over the weekend, and you leave early in the morning, so there is little chance of being late due to traffic. The client’s office is about two hours away from where you live. 

Unfortunately, you find out when you arrive that the key person you are meeting with has fallen ill and therefore is not present. Your inner critic steps in and begins her dialog.

Some part of you may think, “I drove a long way and prepared for a meeting for nothing.” The inner critic piles on: That’s just typical. This is likely to happen to all the meetings I set up this week. I’m never going to hit my sales goals.”  

The comment, “This is typical,” indicates that your inner critic anticipates that this adverse event is the nature of how things go for you and your life and is not limited to this sales meeting alone. The event will carry on in time for the rest of the week and it will define your sales career causing you to fail.

Going along with the thinking of your inner critic will drive your energy level down and limit creative thinking. Likely leaving, following the inner critic’s line of thinking will cause you to sadly climb back into the car for the lonely drive home without even trying to rescue the situation.

Option 2: Manage Your Inner Critic

  1. You can calm your critic by counseling her. This is a time for which its a good idea to name that part of you. Explain to her that there was a set of specific circumstances that led to the event.
  2. You’ll need to help the critic understand that the specific event is timebound. And then, when great things happen, feel free to make sure your inner critic knows the great things that happen will last a very long time.
  3. Have an honest talk with your inner critic letting her know that you can take control to make life better. Outline ways that you can take control.

Tell your inner critic you can make lemonade out of lemons. For example, you can instruct your inner critic (again calling her by name) and tell her, “Well, this is an unusual situation that hardly ever happens to me. I was well prepared for this meeting. Since I am here, let’s see who else I can meet. Perhaps this is an unanticipated event that will permit me to meet other influential people in the organization.”

This type of self-talk allows you to not only perceive the event as rare (time-bound) but also gives you a creative solution to making something good happen in your day.

Ready to go for more? Check out my book “UnCeiling Your Career – At Any Age” for a formula outlining how to move up within your organization.

Dealing with a Work Bully? Click here for help
Ready to Get Over Imposter Syndrome? Click here to get started
Visioning Natalie Luke

UnCeiling Your Best Through Imagery

“Since your mind is to hold images of something, hold images of high ideals.”  Mary Morrissey

As women, we often face challenges in managing a family while balancing work demands, coworkers, or direct reports. If you overanalyze what’s wrong or missing in your life, it might be easy to get emotionally down.  

You can’t overcome typical or atypical difficulties by focusing on the negative. Do you ever feel the need to commiserate with a comrade in arms when you’re feeling down? It doesn’t take long before you both heap grievances upon one another after discovering another disgruntled companion. As the conversation continues, you accuse your employer of even more things than you started!  

You may feel great about the discussion at the moment. Taking the company to task for its behavior may even seem justified. However, the bad news is that you leave the conversation feeling hopeless, which could cripple your productivity! Not to mention, you probably wasted valuable time in the process.

It’s essential to acknowledge problems because complications happen.  

Instead of wasting the energy complaining with no energy added toward solving problems, you’ve wasted time and energy. Acknowledge the problem, then use the daydreaming portion of your brain to imagine a better future. Then use the analytical part of your brain to build a path to that better future.

You’ll need to discipline yourself to believe that you, combined with your creative mind and intuition, are more significant than most problems you face.  

Imagine powerful solution-based images and questions in your mind, then watch your inventive energy flow. 

Do you define the moment, or does the moment define you?

Practice the art of imagining a better future and way, then use that imaginative power to solve problems. 

Discern that during difficult times you can access inventive power.  

Your whole outlook and productivity can change as a result of this knowledge. Having a positive attitude will enable you to respond in an inspired manner.  

Take a deep breath and imagine the best. 

Do you define the moment, or does the moment define you? 

Holding positive, ideal images in your mind puts you in the driver’s seat.

Dealing with a Work Bully? Click here for help
Ready to Get Over Imposter Syndrome? Click here to get started
Visioning Natalie Luke

Simple Words to Quiet Your Inner Critic that Open You to Success   

I love to play tennis, and one year I had the privilege of playing on a 4.5 woman’s tennis team, a level up from where I was playing before. For those unfamiliar with the United States Tennis League levels for Adults, recreational tennis players are rated on one of several levels. A beginner player is rated 2.5, and the more advanced levels increase by 0.5 on the scale. As a player’s ability increases, so does the level of play.  

At the time, I was rated a 4.0, granting me the option to play up to the 4.5, a more challenging level. This was a privilege and a unique opportunity to continuously increase my level of play because I was then allowed to play against challenging opponents. 

During a team match, players can compete in one of five slots, with the better players competing in the top slots. As a 4.0 player, I was accustomed to playing in the lower positions because at my level, I primarily play doubles, that is, number two doubles.  

Captains particularly appreciate me because, in a pinch, I’ll take the risk and fill in at number two singles. One day, I was asked to play in the number spot.  

My inner critic freaked out!   

When Your Inner Critic Take Over Control 

My inner critic wanted to take over control! The protective, yet damaging voice, screamed, “You have a hard time competing at 4.0 levels, let alone playing in the top spot. Are you out of your mind!?!”   

Can you relate to stepping up to a challenging project or, worst, a difficult task with an aggressive timeline? How does your inner critic respond?   

My inner critic stepped in, and my ability to play tennis dropped several levels at that moment. I’m competitive, and I hate losing matches when I feel I didn’t play my best. It’s the “I didn’t play my best” part that bugs me the most. My goal in this match was to bring my best and play hard to give it my all.   

In the past, I would quiet my inner critic with positive affirmations. Unfortunately, I almost always halfheartedly believed the positive messages. The results were that my best play wouldn’t show up. 

The Simple Words that Calmed My Inner Critic  

The change I needed was an adjustment that would allow me to bridge the gap between where I was, crippled with anxiety, to being relaxed enough to play my best.   

I had a vision of how and where I wanted to hit the ball, how I wanted to move on the court, and how I wanted to bend my knees as I struck the ball. I couldn’t let my inner critic distract me from an intense focus on playing my best.   

That day, I tried something new. Every time my self-critic distracted me with all my shortcomings, such as, “You don’t normally hit against such competitive women,” I added a simple phrase, “until now!” 

The simple words let me bridge the gap between my current level of play during competition and this new experience. Adding the simple words helped me to hit some of my best shots against a very young tough powerful competitor during a match that counted. I found I was free to be present in the game, utilize creative energy, and walk off the court with my head high, knowing I brought my best. 

Simple Words to Calm Your Inner Critic 

Applying this story to business, when you find yourself overcome by your inner critic, who demands perfection, suggesting that you’ve never performed a role in a particular project or that you’ve never delivered results in such a short time frame, you can reframe the situation by adding the words, “until now.”

Take Action 

Whenever your inner critic, a voice of fear, makes a defined statement about your inability to close a sale, add the words “until now.” Visualize success and make your move. 

Dealing with a Work Bully? Click here for help
Ready to Get Over Imposter Syndrome? Click here to get started